Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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