I wish I could punch you in the face.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
