I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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