$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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