I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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