youre lurking in front of me
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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