Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
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