Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
