haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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