You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
