Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
