wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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