Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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