do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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