Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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