She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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