I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I think my fart just growled at me.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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