I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
