Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My breasts were aching with rage.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
