I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
