Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
