My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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