I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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