Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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