Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
She's like a pop up book from hell.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
