Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
