You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We have started to decorate penises.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
