i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
