You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
