I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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