definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize