adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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