Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
