I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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