Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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