I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I have demons in me.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
