Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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