Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
