If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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