He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize