Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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