Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
