Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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