Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize