Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
