Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
