I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
