I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
