I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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