i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
