Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
