People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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