big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
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