The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
