Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
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You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
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Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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