I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
