apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
