I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
porn star boner night. come get it.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
