I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
